Senior Dating When You Have Kids
If you’ve ever had children in a past relationship or marriage, they’re not going to just disappear when you begin dating again and pursuing a relationship. It can certainly add a challenge when you’re dating, if you have the background and commitment of having kids, but as a senior you likely have grown children, which may not negatively impact your dating experience, as many other seniors have their own children. You even have the opportunity to have a blended family, which can be a wonderful experience. Let’s have a closer look on what you need to be doing when you’re dating or pursuing a relationship, and you have children.
No matter how old your children are, you need to keep them involved and informed in your life, and they should know if you’re out on the dating market again. If they’re older then they’re likely to be supportive of your dating again, but this depends on your relationship with your children. If they’re still younger, then you need to reassure them that everything is okay, and that nothing is going to change, just because you are dating again. You need to have an open and honest conversation about this and make sure that everyone’s feelings are taken into account.
Just because you go out on a date, doesn’t mean that you need to introduce each one of them to your children. If you’re finding that you’re becoming serious with one person over time, then this is the person that you need to make sure that you appropriately introduce to your children. If you constantly bring in a string of suitors to your home, then you may be sending your children and your family the wrong message, so this shouldn’t be done with everybody. It’s a privilege to get to the point where you show off your suitor to your family, and this shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Are you children against the idea of you dating again? This can be a very difficult concept for your children to handle, especially if you’re a recent divorcee or have been widowed. If you’re children are first introduced to a new person that you’re dating, and it doesn’t have the anticipated happy response – give your children time. Sometimes all it may take is your children is your children to get the used to the idea and warm up to it, but it may take a little more than this. If the relationship with this suitor and your children isn’t clicking, don’t force it to quickly happen or you may have the potential to make things worse.
Don’t allow a brand new date or partner to become a part of your child’s parenting right away. While it’s great that this person is becoming a regular fixture in your life, that doesn’t mean that they need to become a big part of child rearing already. This part of a relationship where parenting is involved tends to cross a line when it’s done early on in relationships, and this is something that may make your children to feel really uncomfortable. You could start by asking them to pick up the kids, or bring them to an appointment, as this is a simple and casual way to start getting your partner involved in the parenting tasks associated with your children.
Children, especially when they’re older, may think that they know what is best for you, and think that just because you’re a senior that you can’t make these major types of decisions without their guidance. If you have a child, then they make actually have some feelings of tension and resentment associated with this new relationship, and may not feel like all of their needs are currently being fulfilled. If this is the case, then you need to ask your children what they need to get back on track. It’s only natural for your child to want to spend time with you, particularly if they live with you, and this is why they may lash out if they feel that their time is being taken from them by a new romantic interest in your life.
Overall – balance is key. You need to strike out a balance between your life obligations, your children and your new romantic interest. You need to know that your children are your responsibility, and those they, particularly in cases of emergency, trump your date or romantic outing. But you also must carve out time that you can use to spend quality time with your romantic partner, and both of these can be challenging to juggle, but when done right, it can lead to a fun and balanced lifestyle.
